Going, going, gone

September 16, 2010 in 3.12 Evil Is Goin' On, Episodes, Recaps, True Blood

In this week’s season 3 finale of True Blood, we learn that money is the root of all evil, hoe cakes make the morning after sweeter, one-eyed catsitters come through in a pinch, fortune cookies teach you how to love, and foolish is just another word for nothing left to lose…

Sink your teeth into some spoilery commentary after the jump…

Before I start this week’s recap, I want to take a moment to give my heartfelt thanks to SVB for letting me take up space on her blog these past 14 weeks—and to all of you for making my first foray into recapping a kick-ass experience. It’s been more fun than you can imagine… and the best part was always reading the hilarious and insightful comments you left week after week.

Your support has meant the world to me… and I salute you.

Now let’s get down to business. Seeing as how this last episode was the season finale, I’ve decided to take a slightly different approach, and to review this sucker cliffhanger by juicy cliffhanger. So it is that, with a tear in my eye and without further ado, I present you with my final recap of the season. Ahem… 

Stop, or my dog will shoot!

Things seem to have come full circle for Sam this season. While last year’s finale saw him recognizing the importance of openness and self-acceptance even in the wake of Daphne’s betrayal—setting him off on a journey to discover his own mysterious roots—this year’s finale finds him telling Tara what he should have told her long ago.

Sam is a shapeshifter. That’s what he is, that’s who he is… and no, he won’t shut the fuck up about it.

Of course, Sam took a page from Jason’s book and softened the blow with breakfast: a batch of hoe cakes, to be exact—perhaps not the best meal to serve to a woman you just had inebriated casual sex with. (Personally, I always snuck out at dawn and grabbed a “slut smoothie” on the way home. But, you know… different strokes.)

Anyway, it was obvious that Tara wasn’t going to be elated with the confession, given her recently reinforced supernatural prejudices—and indeed, she wasn’t. But instead of setting off on one of her usual meltdowns, she merely wishes aloud that she could become a completely new person… one who doesn’t know any of the shit she has learned recently. And Sam’s response—that it’s surprisingly easy to shake off your past, as long as you keep moving—is revealing in more ways than one.

On the one hand, it shows us that Sam still firmly believes in the value of cutting all ties and taking off—why would he praise its effectiveness otherwise? On the other hand, it says something that Sam seems to have chosen not to run anymore. This season marks the second one in which Sam’s past has caught up with him—but while recent episodes have seen him behaving like a belligerent drunk, a glimmer of the kind, generous, and self-sacrificing Sam of season’s past still shines through.

That is, until he arrives at his rental to find all of the appliances running… and no Tommy. The scene that follows—Sam charging through Merlotte’s into his office with the eponymous “Evil (Is Going On)” serving as the soundtrack—was a striking one. Not least of all because we now know that stealing Sam’s money is a very, very bad idea.

And not surprisingly, Tommy has done just that, leaving Sam to hunt his little brother down like Cruella De Vil, armed with one of his many handguns—a hot pursuit that leads him straight into his major finale cliffhanger.

Did Sam really shoot Tommy—even after Tommy confessed the he feels tossed aside, and that he can’t get another job because he can’t read? (By the way, let me take a moment to commend Marshall Allman’s acting in this episode. I’ve criticized the illiteracy trope on more than one occasion in my recaps—but this young actor really sold his scene to me, which is an impressive accomplishment.)

It goes without saying that I hope Tommy is safe, for all of the most obvious reasons—the biggest reason being that for Sam to shoot his younger brother after such a heartbreaking moment of vulnerability would be a show of callousness that defies redemption.

But if he didn’t shoot Tommy, then what did Sam shoot? While it’s perfectly possible that it was just a redundant warning shot, I’m personally hoping that Sam shot the money bag—a symbolic gesture that would reveal his true loyalties, and demonstrate a pointed rejection of his own inner demons. Why?

Because for Sam, that looted safe was more than just a safe—it was a time capsule, secretly housing the blood money that represents the misdeeds of his past, which he carried around with him wherever he went for his whole life. Destroying the money—and choosing a new life with his wayward younger brother instead—is the best shot at the mythical “fresh start” Sam Merlotte has.

Here’s hoping he hits his mark.

I believe a car ride’s in my future…

Speaking of fresh starts, the finale left Tara very obviously setting off in search of her own new beginning. And like Sam, her cliffhanger is riddled with symbolic gestures.

Sam’s hoe cake breakfast naturally turned Tara’s thoughts to her mother, as this was the first meal Lettie-Mae made for her daughter the morning after her sham exorcism in the first season. Back then, this home-cooked food was evidence of a new woman, a sign of Lettie-Mae’s miraculous return. But as the events of the finale show, true change is hardly so magical.

Lettie-Mae might be sober—but while the symptoms of her alcoholism have subsided, the “demon” inside her is just as thirsty as ever. Tara walks in on her mother with the married Reverend Daniels in the throes of an illicit affair, only to have Lettie-Mae defend her ill-advised choice as a golden ticket to becoming a minister’s wife. As she sees it, it may be her only chance at the elusive promised land of happiness.

Tara obviously recognizes her mother as the hopeless case that she is, and finally realizes that her only option is to offer her mother gentle acceptance—and to cut her losses while she can. It’s clear that when she wishes Lettie-Mae luck and hugs her, Tara is saying goodbye—what’s unclear, however, is where her journey will take her. We only know that her new haircut is the first step.

As Tara sat in front of the bathroom mirror with the scissors, I can’t have been the only one who wondered whether she was going to attempt suicide yet again. And in a way, she did. In shearing her hair, Tara was committing metaphorical suicide—chopping her long braids off to reveal a new Tara, who looks not unlike Whitney “CRACK IS WHACK” Houston.

Personally, I find this transformation terribly appropriate.

Still, the new look suits her… and Sookie, with whom she shares a final meal before precipitously taking off, agrees. But while Sookie may expect her best friend to return later that night, the audience knows better. After sitting in front of Merlotte’s and saying a silent goodbye from her car, Tara rides off… presumably to go find somebody to dance with.

We don’t know where she’ll end up—or if she even cares. Come to think of it, I’m not so sure I really care myself. I can only hope that whatever happens to Tara, it makes her a more consistently compelling character than she’s been these last two seasons.

I feel skeptical however—if only for the fact that she’s running, and new haircut or not, she’s still carrying a heavy load of invisible baggage with her. On the other hand, sometimes retreat is the only way to keep your tragedies from defining you. And Tara certainly needs some work in that department.

Time will tell If this is merely a soul-searching hiatus, or an attempt at a new life in the style of Sam Merlotte. I think it’s fair to say that Tara’s intent will dictate whether she’s running from herself, or running toward herself—but I like to think that there is hope for her future yet.

In the kingdom of the blind…

Now let’s move from fresh starts to Fresh Step, as we discover that Annie the Nanny has become the unwitting sage of True Blood. Yes, indeed: Jason Stackhouse is the de facto One-Eyed King of Hotshot’s Country of the Blind. It was a coup of epic proportions—half Shakespeare, half The Hills Have Eyes.

It’s hard to know what to say about this, folks. Because I’m not going to lie… I AM CONFUSED.

And so is Jason, which only makes sense. After deciding that he is willing to abandon his illustrious career as Bon Temps’ resident squad car cleaner, Jason accompanies Crystal to warn Calvin and his inbred family-town of the impending DEA raid. But before panicked evacuation can take place, Felton arrives on the scene and KILLS CALVIN so that his new and very nasty V habit can continue uninterrupted.

When Felton threatens to take Jason out next, Crystal dissuades him by agreeing to abandon the town with him—but not before entrusting Jason with the care of everyone left behind. Jason asks her to tell him how, and I swear I was expecting to hear her rattle off catsitting instructions. (CLEAN THE LITTER PANS TWICE A DAY, AND DON’T FEED THEM TABLE SCRAPS—THEY’LL GET DIARRHEA!)

Instead, she simply tells Jason to help them however he can—which, it must be said, is entirely UNHELPFUL.

Nevertheless, Jason vows to find Crystal and begs her to stay safe… before introducing himself to his new inbred feline family.

OKAY THEN.

It goes without saying that the DEA is furious with Jason for blowing their raid. But when Andy calls him to task, he simply explains that the situation is bigger than drug raids or his recent confession to Tara. Sometimes the right thing to do is the wrong thing… and Jason knows he did the right thing.

I really just don’t know where to begin with this cliffhanger. Do I think it was noble of Jason? To an extent, yes, I do. But suffice it to say that he has no idea what he has gotten himself into. It will be interesting to see whether the writers intend to play this story for comedy’s sake—or whether we may actually see Jason blossom from a man who didn’t even feel qualified to take responsibility for his sister’s medical care, into someone who may actually be able to lead, nurture, and advocate for a whole dirty, hungry, and dentally-challenged town.

Once again, only time will tell. In the meantime, I couldn’t help but notice how the head DEA honcho kept yelling for his Luckies. An ironic condemnation of cigarettes being legal? Or yet another sideways jab at the so-called “war on drugs”? I’m going with the latter—but as always, we see what we want to see here.

Well, unless you’re Lafayette, that is.

I see dead people…

As the season ends, it seems that Lafayette’s sixth sense is in full bloom… and understandably, it’s scaring the shit out of him. After witnessing Jesus transform into a monster the night before, he sees Sam’s bloody hands and hears a warning not to cross him. Later, he sees visions of Rene, strangling Arlene and professing that he’s inside her—along with cryptic cries that WE’RE IN HELL.

Of course, not knowing either character’s secret—that Arlene is in fact pregnant with Rene’s child, and that Sam is in fact a murderer—Lafayette mistakes these visions for paranoid delusions, instead of recognizing them as the very accurate observations they are.

Then again, had he realized that there is real truth behind his newfound ability, I sincerely doubt Lafayette would have called Jesus—a character whose intentions are shrouded in even more suspicion now.

Clearly, Lafayette saw Jesus as a monster for a reason—which is why I think we may actually have been looking at one of next season’s villains all along.

Still, there was some value in Lafayette reaching out to Jesus for support. For one, we confirmed that Lafayette’s new boy toy is in fact a brujo. And second, we got to witness Nelsan Ellis’ amazing acting chops yet again, as Lafayette voiced his fear that he is succumbing to the same schizophrenia that overtook Ruby Jean’s mind. I truly felt his panic, as he recalled that his earliest memories of his mother center around conversations with people that weren’t there—and it was a moment that I feel richened our understanding of Lafayette’s character immensely.

Lafayette is not a shallow man. He willfully chooses to live his life on the surface because he knows the dangers that lurk beneath—and unlike Jesus, who sees this exploration as an adventure, Lafayette recognizes the inherent peril of this arcane journey: that his newly-discovered “sensitivity” could potentially drive him insane.

So what, exactly, will Lafayette learn from Jesus next season? And more importantly, does it mean that we’ll get to see more demonic dolls? Because if so, color me STOKED. Oh, and while we’re on the subject of dolls…

There will be consequences…

That’s right—you know the doll I’m talking about. It’s foreboding, it’s creepy, and so help me if I found that shit in the bedroom of my new house I would MOVE OUT IMMEDIATELY. But it’s obviously there to hijack Hoyt and Jessica’s attempt at a fresh start. And its symbolism is deliciously multi-layered.

On the one hand, it’s simply a haunting image. “I love you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Jessica tells Hoyt. “Lucky for you, you never have to find out,” he replies.

CUE CREEPY BABY DOLL.

As Hoyt speaks hopefully of his future with Jessica—marriage, a house, the whole nine yards—the doll almost taunts them from afar, serving as a not-so-subtle reminder of the fact that a “normal” life is simply not possible for them. It was a lesson that Bill and Sookie had to learn the hard way. And now, it’s Hoyt and Jessica’s turn.

More noteworthy, however, is that Jessica’s inability to bear Hoyt’s children is the one insult that Maxine threw in her face to which she had no reply aside from tears.

In fact, it’s perfectly possible that Maxine herself managed to find a key to the new place, and that the doll was just a plastic breadcrumb left behind. When the intervention that she coordinated with Summer and Hoyt’s high school guidance counselor ended in firm rebuff, we saw that Maxine was prepared to resort to drastic measures. So drastic, in fact, that she bought a gun from the local Steve Newlin-endorsed militia warehouse.

No, things do not look good for Jessica. Not at all. But at least she only has one person trying to kill her.

Is there cement in my hair?

It’s tough to look at Eric’s storyline in terms of cliffhangers, because well… he doesn’t really have one. He does, however, play an integral role in numerous other cliffhangers—starting with a twist of Russell’s fate, due in no small part to Godric’s return in the style of Jiminy Cricket.

Yeah… about that…

Look, I adored Godric as much as, if not considerably more than, the next viewer. But the decision to have him return as a specter that is fluent in fortune cookie completely missed the mark for me. Do I understand the intention? Of course I do.

Godric’s message was one that has echoed throughout this season, and one that was voiced explicitly by Arlene in Lafayette’s vision: Hell is a prison of our own making, and our hatred forms the bricks from which it is built. The truth is, there is no heaven or hell—only peace or affliction. And we are all equally deserving of freedom from affliction, a state that only exists in the realm of pure love.

In short, Godric’s plea was not just for mercy toward Russell, but for Eric to free himself from the shackles of his own thirst for vengeance—a spiritual transcendence, of which mercy and forgiveness are only the necessary byproduct.

Yes, this is a beautiful and poignant message.

But surely there was a less tired way to relate it? On the bright side, aforementioned creative decision opened the door to this line: YOU MAKE ME BLEED, MY CHILD. I’m pretty sure my mother said the exact same thing the last time she started haranguing me about grandchildren… so points to Mr. Ball for believable dialogue.

Gripes about cliché aside, there’s also something to be said for the fact that Eric dismisses Godric’s pleas. Despite the fact that he claimed to “spare” Russell as a consequence of this vision, it’s clear that Eric only wishes to keep the King alive in order to prolong his suffering. And of course, like any good supervillain, Russell will inevitably be back—which, I think we can all agree, is a wonderful thing.

What’s not so wonderful is that prolonging Russell’s suffering also requires Eric to prolong his own suffering. Eric nearly met his true death beside Russell in the sun, only to be thrown into a matching cement grave beside him once again, courtesy of Bill Compton.

Of course, Eric is all too happy to return this favor in spades by explicitly revealing Bill as the shady character that he is. And while it was framed as an offhand comment to Pam, I think it’s significant that Eric views this as a punishment worse than death—to be shamed and exposed as a liar, and to lose the woman you love because of it.

This observation undoubtedly says something about Eric’s character, as does the fact that he gave Bill ample opportunity to come clean before laying down the hammer. In short, Eric Northman may be spiteful… but he is not without honor.

The sincere and straightforward apology that Eric offers to Sookie on her porch only provides further evidence of that. Despite the fact that neither vampire occupied a warm place in her heart in that moment—a sentiment quite clearly related when she tells Eric to go back to the hell he came from—at least she knows that he respects her enough not to shelter her from the truth.

And speaking of the truth…

I would do anything for love…

Did this episode’s revelations about Bill Compton really surprise anyone?

As Bill himself admitted, fate presented him with a perfect opportunity to do away with his main competition for Sookie’s heart. And it’s fairly obvious that Sookie’s growing attraction to Eric was at least one of the reasons Bill betrayed him with a handshake and mimicked orders for Pam’s assassination (a surprising new ability that—probably quite purposefully—recalled the vocal talents of one Franklin Mott, thereby setting up yet another point of comparison for these two obsessive characters).

Did Bill also believe that he was protecting Sookie? I’m inclined to say that he did—but that doesn’t make the overture any less presumptuous or creepy. After all, Franklin Mott would have killed anyone to “protect” Tara, too—he said as much himself. Ironically, even Sookie seems to know instinctively that Eric isn’t a danger to her… causing the audience to question whether Bill’s declaration of war is really in her best interest at all.

Luckily for everyone, this is a moot point… because Bill, it seems, can’t do anything right.

After pledging his eternal love and vowing to bring the true death upon anyone who would hurt Sookie, it appears as though Bill may have been able to weasel his way back into her heart just one last time. That is, until Eric dramatically throws the door open and explains that Bill was in fact sent to procure Sookie for the Queen… and that he stood by and watched Denise and Mack Rattray beat her so as to speed along their romance with a timely infusion of his blood.

ZING! There you have it, folks.

Bill’s secret is finally out. And it’s worse than a lot of viewers thought—with the exception of most of the folks around here, as Bill’s opportunistic voyeurism on that fateful night has been a pet theory for some time. But whether you saw it coming or not, it’s pretty obvious that things had to go this way.

After an entire season of Sookie forgiving Bill for every transgression—whether it was screwing Lorena sideways (literally) or practically draining Sookie in the back of Alcide’s van—it had become hard to believe that there was anything Mr. Compton could do to earn a permanent spot in the dog house.

Except, you know… THIS. I think we can all agree that standing by and watching your future fiancée be beaten to death does not constitute the ideal foundation for a healthy relationship. And apparently, Sookie agrees too, because she rescinded Bill’s invitation without the slightest hesitation, and with no small amount of seething hatred.

A seething hatred that, if I may add, is more than duly warranted… even if it is terribly destructive to your soul in the long run, just as Godric warned.

Anyway, there’s little question that, despite Bill’s best efforts to stall her, the Queen was eventually going to come to collect what was hers. So Bill capitalizes on this certain knowledge, taking the opportunity to invite Sophie-Anne over, using the promise of a true fairy as bait. With nothing left to lose—and conveniently forgetting his responsibilities to Jessica—Bill challenges the Queen to an ill-advised fight to the death.

Once again, this should surprise no one. The same vampire who attempted to physically overpower Russell—and failed miserably—is now attempting to do the same with the Queen. Is he suicidal? I have to wonder. This season, we witnessed Eric crafting a string of elaborate strategies to achieve his goals, resorting to death only in the carefully planned end—and when he knew that his nemesis would be dying right by his side.

However, I fail to see how Bill’s challenge of the Queen achieves anything outside of outright self-destruction—and in that respect, it’s a trademark Compton maneuver. He may want to protect Sookie, but ironically, he is the least capable protector when it comes to actually doing so, as—for better or worse—his impulses come from a place of unreasonable passion.

In that respect, Bill’s willingness to die is but an empty gesture, and serves absolutely no good purpose outside of brooding romantic sentiment. As Eric has consistently reminded Bill, he can’t well protect Sookie if he’s dead.

There’s no doubt that we’re being asked to question everything that Bill has ever done or said in the show up until now (and every phone call anyone ever received, for that matter). The level of deception exposed in this finale was deep, and Sookie is not lost on that fact. Yet, I think it’s also obvious that Bill does love Sookie —and that he would do anything to prove it to her. But does that make him a tragic hero? Or does it just make him dangerous?

Maybe it makes him both.

Won’t you take me to Fairytown?

Sookie’s finale journey begins with a midnight run through the woods in gauzy fairy attire—a sprint that is interrupted by the descent of the now-notorious spaceship chandelier. I have no words for this, except that I want one for my house.

Unfortunately, I am unable to find a replica in my most recent Lamps Plus catalogue. So maybe the HBO swag shop should get on top of that.

In any case, it’s fitting that the fairies serve as bookends of the episode, which revolves so heavily around Sookie’s growing alienation. Alone and feeling lost after the news that her first love was sent as her procurer, Sookie runs to the cemetery to visit Gran’s grave.

The final moments see her taking Claudine’s hand and disappearing into what I can only assume is the real home of her supernatural family.

In all likelihood, it’s a far cry from Summer’s Eve commercials past. And if I had to guess, I would imagine that Sookie will stay there long enough to recover from the insults flung at her from every direction for the last few seasons—an extended vacation that will be but a blink of the eye in Bon Temps time.

And that would mean Fairyland is pretty much the alien version of Narnia. Not so sure how I feel about that. But if it gives Sookie the much-needed break she needs without throwing a monkey wrench into the show’s momentum, I’ll take it.

The real question is whether Sookie will return as anywhere near the same person she was when she left—or if the perplexing personality quirks we saw emerge in this episode will be nurtured into something entirely different.

Of course, many other things caught my eye with respect to Sookie’s story in this episode—the first of which is the fact that we don’t know whose blood revived her while Eric burned outside. It’s clear that someone’s blood did, as we can see from the stain on her lips. I am only assuming it was Bill’s, yet again—but what if it wasn’t? And would it make a difference?

Second is the fact that Sookie clearly felt compelled to rescue Eric from the sunlight at all.

Russell’s appeals to her to use her power—threatening her “precious Viking” and the brooding Mr. Compton, along with anyone else she cares about—made for yet another bit of priceless dialogue from the King, which was (as always) enhanced by a pitch-perfect, high-camp performance from Denis O’Hare. And it leaves me still wondering as to the origin and reliability of Sookie’s powers.

Another defining moment: Sookie’s insistence on feeding Eric her blood when Pam explained that he was too weak and close to death to drop his fangs. It cannot have escaped any viewer’s attention that this was practically a blow-by-blow replay of Sookie’s offering to Bill on that fateful day in Alcide’s truck. The only difference was that, instead of a rusty saw, she made Bill himself open up her wrist.

So it’s no surprise that this overture was punctuated with an exchange of glares, and a comment from Sookie that “we both know he could lose control.” And it’s also very significant that, while Eric could have lost control, he didn’t—despite the fact that he is perfectly capable of overpowering everyone in that room.

Clearly, all of this self-control talk was build-up for the subsequent heart-to-heart Sookie would have with Russell, during which we find Sookie toying with the idea of furnishing Russell with his freedom in exchange for 5 million dollars, a Mississippi mansion, and the true death of both Bill and Eric. I’m fairly certain that Sookie never had any intention of meeting the terms of this negotiation—but the fact that she would even entertain the parameters is odd.

This anomaly pales in comparison, however, to the events that follow. When Russell taunts Sookie with the reality that it’s only a matter of time before a vampire kills her—while suggesting that, far from wanting to see her live, Bill was merely prolonging the pleasure that her blood gave him—she retaliates in a way that is equal parts noteworthy and disturbing.

Let’s start with the noteworthy: Sookie thinks that Russell is carrying Talbot around because he believes that her blood may somehow be able to resurrect him. If you’ve been following my recaps this season, then you know that I suspected this as well—there was just something entirely too eerie and ritualistic about his encounter with the prostitute to dismiss it as merely a display of twisted sentiment.

But what I would like to know is why Sookie believes this about her blood. It was a rather random connection to make, no doubt.

Understandably, however, I found it difficult to dwell on this little curiosity—because no sooner did Sookie establish Russell’s reasoning for carrying his dead lover’s entrails around in a jar, than she DUMPS THEM DOWN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. And disturbingly, she does this all while giggling… you know, in case you’ve forgotten.

Yet again, it’s hard to know what to say about this. Obviously, I can’t entirely blame Sookie for what she did—Russell provoked her as expertly as you would expect a 3,000 year old vampire to be able to—but suffice it to say that it was a totally unnecessary move. Or at least, it was as unnecessary as Eric gleefully staking Talbot in the first place, only to keep Russell alive in an effort to maximize his anguish.

More than anything, I was struck by the ruthlessness of Sookie’s act… and the obvious way in which it showed the that this is one trait that Eric and Sookie do indeed share in common, just as their conversation in Sookie’s dream from last season suggested.

Ultimately, we are left to wonder who the real Sookie is… at least as much as we are left to wonder if we ever knew any of the characters at all.

This is the beginning…

Truth be told, this season’s finale left me slightly underwhelmed—mostly because it didn’t have the edge-of-your-seat quality that I’ve come to expect from this show. The cliffhangers weren’t exactly cliffhangers—and it’s hard to be dying for next season, when I’m not entirely sure what to be dying over.

Of course, maybe it’s the not knowing that adds a certain je ne sais quoi to this finale—a little something special that the two before it didn’t quite have.

While we are less certain as viewers where any of our beloved characters stand, I appreciate that this final installment was brave enough to leave them in some unexpected and interesting places. That I don’t have the first clue what the future will look like is a good thing in that respect. We don’t know what we thought we knew… and because of it, anything is now possible.

Strangely, the “fresh start” that was tossed around in the penultimate episode appears to apply to the show itself. And when we return to Bon Temps next season, I suspect that little will remain the same.

There are a few plot points, however, on which I do feel safe speculating.

Alcide made his anticipated (and sadly, entirely too clothed) return in the finale. He is revealed to be one of the few characters having sexy dreams that very obviously aren’t fueled by vampire blood (proof positive that yes, dreaming about someone just because you happen to like them is possible on True Blood). Thus, I think it’s very likely that Alcide may engage in further eyefucking with someone other than Bill in the future. (And yes, Eric—I noticed that you and I speak the same language. I will be looking forward to your use of the term “ladyboner” next season.)

We also learn that Debbie “I WILL CUT YOU” Pelt has disappeared—a development that does not bode well for Sookie in any way shape or form, but which bodes very well for our future viewing enjoyment. Hell hath no fury like a werebitch with a dead Cooter.

Then there’s the question of the Queen—assuming, of course, she survives. What are the chances that she herself would release Russell from his concrete tomb? He would no doubt be a powerful ally—and I think it’s safe to say that their goals are congruent. Either way, I can’t believe that she would give up her dream of starfucking on a yacht in Cannes so quickly. That’s why, for Sookie’s sake, I hope that Bill achieves the impossible.

For my own sake, however, I hope that Sophie-Anne lives to see another day of unleashing her own unique (and impeccably styled) brand of crazy on the world. I freely admit that this character has grown on me. Well, her fashion sense has, at least.

Finally, we’ve heard that someone in this mixing bowl of characters will be struck with amnesia next season. And yet, even after this final installment, there is no hint as to how or why this might happen at all… which, as far as I’m concerned, may actually be the biggest cliffhanger of the lot.

Yes, waiting sucks. But now that that another finale has come and gone, what did you think of the third season of True Blood? Until next year, sound off below!

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