This poll is reserved for scenes during which all parties are fully cognizant! Dream sequences will be included in a later poll.
A. A SEX BOMB DETONATES IN THE DUNGEON OF DOOM
In one of the season’s first scenes Sookie barrels into Fangtasia, insults Pam, and heads straight for the dungeon — where Eric surely has her soon-to-be-husband chained up because…well, because he’s Eric and he’s eeeevil and that’s just the type of shit he’d pull.
Instead of the expected cello-filled reunion with her fine Southern Gent, Sookie finds Eric and the hired help…all naked, sweaty and bound. He and Yvetta are having a pumping good time yet Eric doesn’t seem to mind this unplanned coitus interruptus, handing him as it does a nice clean shot at Bill’s snuff. Speaking of clear shots, Sookie certainly doesn’t seem to mind getting one at Eric’s Gracious Plenty, either. Oh we know you tried to look completely disgusted, Sookie. BUT WE SAW YOU LOOKING.
B. OPERATION “MOVE ALONG NOW, BILL” SHIFTS INTO HIGH GEAR
Sookie returns to Fangtasia, waving a drink coaster with weird runes on it under Eric’s unimpressed nose and bleating some more about saving her increasingly irritating “boyfriend”. Never mind Eric, we don’t care where he is either.
In an attempt to get Sookie to calm the hell down and use her head, he unwittingly offers himself (and those feelings that he really DOESN’T have, dammit) to her on a non-silver platter.
C. BOOK ERIC, MEET BOOK SOOKIE
Two seasons of wondering whether we’d ever see Book Eric and Sookie while both of them were actually awake and in the same room, were rewarded when Ball finally decided to cough it up in episode 2.
After lying to Sookie at Fangtasia about his knowledge of were’s, Eric’s conscience grabs him firmly by the boy bits and leads him straight to Sookie’s front door – where he openly admits to his tiny falsehood and explains to Sookie the true nature of the threat she is facing. Sookie, intrigued and somewhat flattered at being treated like a Big Girl for a change immediately begins cocking her head, batting her lashes and twirling her hair.
Book Eric sees nothing but green lights and seizes his opportunity with this:
“You are going to invite me in so I can protect you. Or have passionate primal sex with you. How about both?”
Excuse us while we retrieve our underpants from our ankles. NO IDEA how they ended up there.
Shameless two-way flirting ensues until Eric hears a noise, causing him to nail Sookie against the wall like the BAMF that he is and demand an invitation to her house – NOW.
Sookie meekly issues the requested invitation, laying the double-entendre on with a trowel and proving once and for all that Mr Northman comes in whenever he goddamn pleases.
D. ERIC WETS
OUR SOOKIE’S RUG
After being granted entry to the Stackhouse abode by a hot and obviously bothered Sookie, Eric picks a fight with the skanky looking Were lurking inside (did he escape from Hotshot, or what? Eeeww).
Cue Book Eric and Sookie – again! Sookie shoots the were with Terry Bellefleur’s gun. Eric jumps into the path of the bullet and takes it in the gut, grabs the were and proceeds to interrogate his creepy ass before ripping his throat out and delivering dead-pan the line that near killed us all:
“I got your rug all wet”.
E. DEAD BODY DUMP #1
Offing supes and disposing of their messy remains is a task that Book Eric and Sookie excel at, so this scene warmed the cockles of my book-lovin’ heart. It made me happy to see them bonding this way. I know this is sick. What can I say?
Eric silently fills in the hole containing aforementioned dead were, while Sookie stands around taking notes and running her mouth at him on various topics – pausing only to make an innocent enquiry about the state of his recently sustained bullet hole.
Sweet Sookie, you just walked right into that one and I can’t help thinking it wasn’t half deliberate – given your recent experience of “curing” vampire shrapnel wounds. Never mind Eric, something tells me the next time she shoots you she won’t be so pissy about puckering up.
F. SCARLETT AND RHETT
In a Gone with the Wind moment that brought to mind Book Sookie’s musings on her favourite romance, Eric got to do what 98% of viewers had been itching to do for most of the season – shove a hand over Sookie’s mouth to plug up the near constant outpouring of sheer stupidity. Shut up please
Scarlett Sookie, we need to think – and WE REALLY DON’T GIVE A DAMN about Bill right now.
G. GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT…AND WAIT SOME MORE
In a neat parallel with Episode 2.10 – which saw Sookie dream about kissing a grief-stricken Eric after the death of his maker, 3.10 brought us Sookie kissing that Viking FOR REALZ as he faced his own death. The same song, “Eric’s Grief”, played over both scenes. Symmetry is a beautiful thing.
We’ve waited a long time for this kiss – a full season longer than the books dictated – and I do not intend getting hung up on symbolism. Someone please, just hang me up on those HUGE VIKING HANDS. The shoulder pulling, the hair grabbing, the tongue stroking…Eric and Sookie’s first real kiss was passionate, emotionally raw, and hot as hell. This was so worth the wait.
H. VAMPIRE CRACK…NOT ALL IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE
I have mixed feelings about this scene but Eric’s first taste of Sookie is a pivotal moment, so here it is. I never wanted to see Eric drink from Sookie for the first time under duress, nor for Sookie to be so obviously terrified and distressed while it happened. On the other hand, the fact that the show held this over longer than the books – and chose to play it so that Eric didn’t drink from her until he was forced to – adds an interesting twist to the motivations of his character.
Eric’s obvious displeasure at being forced to bite Sookie against both her will and his own and his furtive, silent attempts to comfort her as he did so made this scene far less traumatic for us to sit through than it could have been.
I. THE TRUTH HURTS
Eric and Sookie’s final scene of the season comes as a devastated Sookie throws Bill out on his deserving, lying backside and rescinds both both vampires invitations to her home.
While Bill suffered the humiliation of eating a face-full of dirt after flying out the front door sans dignity, Eric managed to vampire himself all up close and personal to have the last word. In spite of Sookie’s best efforts to swear him back to the hell he came from, Eric makes an honest and no-excuses apology. He is sorry for the pain his revelations have caused her, but he thought she deserved the truth.
Whoa! Stop right there, what’s going on? Sookie is served up a dose of cold hard facts by a vampire who knows the truth hurts – and that hearing it will not break her, but strengthen her? Let’s hope this is the beginning of a trend.
J. BILLY, DON’T BE A HERO
I’m not sure what I liked best about Sookie saving Eric from himself – the fact that she smacked Bill in the mouth the second her eyes opened; her scathing abuse when he attempted to stop her from going outside; or the way she twisted the knife further into Bill’s guts by demanding that he be the one to open her wrist.
On the morality scale, this would be about the equivalent of asking your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend to spot you a condom so that you can screw his arch nemesis. Mean Sookie, FTW!
Jokes aside, even though Sookie knew both Eric and Bill were involved in letting Russell drink her, she slapped Bill’s face and saved Eric’s ass without even bothering to ask either of them for an explanation. This makes me happy.
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